Of Soup and Unknown Diseases
by SugarIsHEALTHY
Summary: They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, but apparently no one told Katniss that, because it seems she has created her own version of it. Or rather, the fangirls have. Good luck, District 12.


**AN: So, this is probably as close to romance as I'm ever going to write and was written for a dare/bet/thing I made with GaleLuver27: she had to write a fanfiction that wasn't romance, and I had to write one where Katniss finds Peeta cheating on her with Delly. She later insisted that Gale had to comfort Katniss, and though I refused, I did add Gale in, just 'cause I was feeling strangely generous. As you can probably tell, she's a rather big fan of Gale, and I'm a Peeta fan, so she wanted to bug me with the prompt she made for me as much as possible. But, I have a feeling she'll be rather mad at me once she reads this. *Cue evil laughing* So, without further ado, I give to you 'Of Soup and Unknown Diseases.' (By the way, I apologize for the title. I couldn't think of anything.)**

-:-

Katniss hummed as she skipped along the street toward towards the Victor's Village, a very uncharacteristic thing for her to do. But she figured she could do whatever she wanted (or didn't want), as she had a feeling she was about to do things even more inconsistent with her typical behavior very soon.

How right she was.

Deciding to dismiss her bizarre premonition as irrelevant and unimportant,—another un-Katniss like thing to do (because, really, shouldn't she have learned by now?)—Katniss looked down at the basket she carried in her arms. It contained some berries and plants, nothing special, though she _did _arrange them in a **heart. **(So cute!)

_Wow_, she thought happily, converting her skipping into graceful sashays, _Life is so much easier when you can just act however you want, even though it's completely out of line with your personality. I love rainbows!_

A thought suddenly occurring to her, Katniss looked up and searched wildly, desperate to see an afore mentioned spectrum of colors, ignoring the fact that a rainbow is next to impossible with the current weather; the sun beat evenly down and there wasn't a cloud in sight. Not seeing any of the rainbows she so longingly searched for, she succumbed to her disappointment and let out an agonizing wail.

Was it too much to ask to see one—freaking—rainbow?!

Deciding not to give up so easily, Katniss composed herself and stood up straight, staring coolly at the sky. (Or as 'coolly' as you can get when you're having a staring contest with the sky.) Taking on her most commanding voice, she ordered, "I demand that you show me a rainbow."

Nothing.

Desperately trying not to let her frustration show, Katniss tried again. "I am the Mockingjay—the freaking girl on fire! You shall heed my command and do as I say!"

Nothing. Again.

Antagonized, Katniss' eyes seemed to gain a peculiar glint in them, one only seen by an unlucky few.

Throwing her basket on the ground, Katniss glared up at the sky. This was about more than just the rainbow; this was an attack on her authority and she would not stand for it.

Now it was personal.

"You think you can just—just—_sit _there and mock me like that?!" Katniss shrieked indignantly, oblivious to the wary and disturbed stares coming her way.

"No! You can't! Because you don't think! You're just a sky! You are _nothing _compared to me!" Turning on her heel, Katniss marched away triumphantly, gloating in the fact that _she _had the final (and only) words.

Then turned around again when she realized her house was the other way. (It took a couple minutes.)

And her basket sat alone on the street, a constant reminder of just how insane people (or _person; _one in particular) can be. And there it remained forevermore. (If forevermore meant 'until some kids took it and used it as a soccer ball.')

-:-

Frowning as her ears picked up a curious noise coming from her house, Katniss prowled up the steps and stealthily opened the door, immediately locating what appeared to be the source of the _sound._

What was this peculiar sound, you may ask?

Laughing and talking, coming from none other than Peeta and Delly.

(Now, you surely don't understand the seriousness of the situation at hand. You may think _Aw, Peeta is reconnecting with his childhood friend! How sweet. _But no. It's not "sweet." It's not cute, loveable, charming, adorable, appealing, lovely, pleasant, or any other synonyms you may find for that despicable word. Katniss despises "sweet." And she despises _you, _for thinking thoughts as appalling and abhorrent as the afore mentioned thoughts, even though you probably didn't actually think that; she really just wants an excuse to loathe _somebody, _because loathing people is oh-so-fun.)

Katniss's mouth opened slowly and dramatically, making a loud gasping noise (like that one scene from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs when it first starts raining food . . . not that she would know that . . .)

_How dare she?! How dare _he! Katniss thought angrily. They were supposed to be in love, for Finnick's sake! Did that mean nothing to him?!

Startled by her entrance, the origins of her frustrations looked up. Seeing who it was, Peeta smiled at her. (The nerve!)

"Hey, Katniss! Delly was telling me about—"

"_Oh! _So you're _bonding_! Well, isn't that just great!" Katniss yelled.

Peeta blinked, taken aback. "Um, what? We were just talking about—"

"So you admit it! You were cheating on me!"

"Wait, what?" Now Peeta was completely baffled, Delly looking just as confused. "Where did you get that from—"

"I don't want to hear it! I thought we had something special, Peeta! And you threw it all away!" Katniss angrily wiped the away the tears forming in her eyes and started tugging on her finger, removing the ring from it.

"No, I didn't! What are you talking about?!" Though still confused, Peeta was definitely starting to feel a little worried.

Concern lacing her voice, Delly began, "Yeah, Katniss, nothing—"

"Oh, shut up! Nobody wants to hear what _you _have to say," Katniss sneered as she rounded on an astonished Delly, anger twisting her features. Peeta tried—in vain—to mediate.

"Whoa, Katniss! Calm down—"

"Oh, so now you're defending her! I see how it is." Carefully composing herself, Katniss straightened and glared at the two, not noticing their bewildered expressions.

"I trusted you two. And now you betrayed me!" Finally losing it, Katniss let out a shuddering wail as she flung the ring at Peeta's feet and scurried out of the house, leaving the befuddled individuals in her wake.

-:-

Observing his surroundings with a rueful look in his eye, Gale walked down the streets of District 12 on his way towards the Victor's Village. He wasn't exactly sure what his motives for coming were; he was quite happy in District 2. But for some reason, he recently had had the urge to come, despite not having any logical reasons.

Well, he supposed there might be _one _reason . . .

Gale smiled as he thought of that. Yes, he did have _one _reason for returning to his first home. He wasn't sure how he could have forgotten; it seemed as if his motivation was on his mind night and day.

What was this oh-so-special reason?

You guessed it.

He really missed Greasy Sae's soup.

Sighing with just the mere thought of the lukewarm broth and the meat that may or may not be sanitary, Gale continued his steady saunter towards the Victor's Village, where he knew Greasy Sae lived with Katniss.

His peaceful stroll was interrupted as a few kids ran into the street in front of him, laughing and shrieking as they played a makeshift game of soccer, using—oddly enough—a basket in place of a soccer ball. After staring at the odd display in puzzlement for a few seconds, Gale dismissed it with a shrug and continued walking.

It seemed that District 12 was oddly active on that particular day, for mere minutes after Gale had continued his trek to the Victor's Village, he noticed something else out of place. If he strained his ears, he could just make out a shrill wailing noise that seemed to grow louder with every passing second . . .

Before long, Gale had located the source of the strange noise; _located, _not _identified. _So when a blur collided with him, knocking both of them over, he wasn't too surprised. He _was _surprised, however, when said blur started screeching profanities; he had assumed it was some sort of wild animal.

He was even _more _surprised, though, when the not-wild animal went through a shocking mood swing and started sobbing into his shoulder, tightly wrapping their arms around him.

Bewildered, Gale awkwardly patted the person's back for a few moments, before attempting to identify them. When he did, he was even more stunned.

"Katniss? Um . . . What are you doing?"

"I knew you'd never leave me!" Katniss cried, her voice muffled.

"Haha, um . . . Ok then." Gale laughed weakly; he was feeling quite uncomfortable. They were still lying on the ground and he had a seemingly deranged girl wrapped around him. Yes, it was quite the scene for bystanders.

"So . . . Are you going to get off of me?" _Please get off me, please get off me._

"Why would I do that?"

"Oh, I don't know . . ." _Why would you _not _do that?!_

"Now that you're back, we can do everything together. Forever." Smiling happily, Katniss snuggled further into Gale's shoulder, making the situation even more uncomfortable for a certain person.

Trying to find a way out of this, Gale started, "Um . . . I was just visiting—"

"LALALA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU," Katniss screeched suddenly, blocking the end of his sentence out. "WE ARE GONNA LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER AND YOU'RE _GONNA FREAKING LOVE IT."_

Now slightly terrified and shuddering at the memories of Katniss in the Hunger Games (she was a violent child), Gale smiled feebly and went along with the psycho.

For now.

-:-

Sitting at the kitchen table, Peeta and Delly were staring at the door in Katniss' wake.

"Um . . . What just happened?"

"I'm not entirely sure."

"Me neither."

They sat in silence for a few more moments before a timid-looking kid awkwardly knocked on the door. Peeta stood and opened the door, looking curiously at the boy.

"Um, this random guy told me to give this to you . . ." the kid said, shoving a crumpled piece of paper into Peeta's hands before walking away quickly.

Peeta stared in confusion at the paper for a few seconds before turning and walking back to the table with it. Delly looked at him inquiringly.

"What is it?"

Peeta shrugged and unfolded the paper. On it, hastily scribbled as if the person were in a hurry, the paper said:

_HELP! She won't let me leave! She's dragging me to the woods and I can't get away from her! HELP ME! –Gale_

Only the desperate tone of the note stopped Peeta from bursting into laughter.

Delly didn't have quite the same willpower after she read it.

-:-

Gale trembled as Katniss snarled at him to hurry up. Despite her overall not very intimidating appearance, Katniss still had a way of striking fear into even the most seasoned warriors. Not that Gale was a very "seasoned warrior", but he liked to think he was pretty tough.

Too bad that didn't stop him from cowering as Katniss dragged him through the woods.

He desperately hoped that Peeta came to his aid; yeah, they had their disagreements, but surely Peeta would understand the urgency of his situation. He was, after all, married to the kidnapper in question.

He felt pretty ingenious for thinking of a way to contact help; after going along with Katniss for as long as humanly possible (which was a total of 42 seconds), he had tried to claw his way out of her grip. And though she may not look it, the girl has some crazy upper body strength. (It might be because of the whole 'fight to the death' fiasco from awhile back.) Sensing defeat was near, Gale made one last, desperate effort: seizing a pencil and piece of paper that were conveniently lying on the street, he scribbled a hasty message and shoved it into the hands of a random passerby with instructions to give it to Peeta Mellark. The poor boy looked quite uncomfortable, but what can you do? Gale was desperate.

Gale continued to follow Katniss through the woods. He wasn't sure where she was leading him, but he made sure to leave an obvious trail by crashing through the vegetation. It wasn't at all like his normally graceful self, but thankfully Katniss didn't seem to notice.

_Or she doesn't care because she plans to kill me before help comes._

Gale shook his head at the morbid thought; he didn't know what had gotten into him. Sure, Katniss seemed a little messed up in the brain at the moment, but he knew her. She wasn't psychotic. Completely.

Wondering what could have gotten into his childhood friend, Gale thought back to when he ran into Katniss (literally).

_Hmmm . . . She was wailing and crying and seemed surprised to see me, so she must not have planned kidnapping me. She was obviously upset, but I wonder what could have caused such distress . . ._

After some thought, he arrived at the conclusion that Peeta had run out of cheese buns.

-:-

"I think they went this way."

"_That _way? Why on _earth_ do you think they went _that _way?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe it's the recent footprints, or the stomped undergrowth. Or maybe it's just the fact that I can _hear _them?"

"Touché."

Walking through the woods, Peeta and Delly easily managed to catch up with Katniss and Gale (who was pretty effective at clearing paths, apparently).

In her angry and insane state, Katniss didn't notice the two admittedly loud people following her and her captive. That could have been because of Gale, though, who had seen his rescuers, mentally face palmed at the racket they were making, and tried to cover them up by being extra noisy. It seemed to work, because Katniss didn't realize she and Gale weren't alone until Peeta and Delly jumped out from behind a tree at her.

"YOU CHEATING JERK! YOU DARE SHOW YOUR FACE HERE?!" Katniss screamed when she registered what was happening. Gale frowned thoughtfully; perhaps that was why Katniss was a bit off her rocker?

"Katniss. Calm down. _Nothing _happened." Delly attempted to placate Katniss by holding up her hands in a sort of _I surrender _sign. If anything, it only seemed to aggravate her further.

"Nobody gave you permission to speak, demon!"

Taken aback, Delly blinked and looked at Peeta for backup, who said soothingly, "Katniss, why don't you come back home and we'll get you some cheese buns and we can talk this-"

"NO! I'm not coming back with _you_! Gale and I are going to have a _fantabulous _life in the woods and never talk to you again, because that's how _deeply_ in love we are." At that, Katniss gazed _deeply_ into Gale's eyes, who looked like a trapped animal.

"Um, actually, I have a wife-"

Katniss gasped. "Of course I'll marry you!" She attempted throw herself on Gale, but he backed away quickly.

"I meant I have a wife in District 2. And a kid." Gale was looking quite uncomfortable as everyone stared at him, each with different expressions on their face. "It can't be _that _hard to believe," he muttered to himself right as Katniss exploded.

"WHAT?! YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME, TOO?! HOW DARE YOU?!" Katniss looked downright _murderous_, but for once Gale wasn't fazed, even looking indignant.

"So because I used to have a _crush _on you when I was a freaking _teenager,_ it means that I _cheated _on you when I married someone else?! And you got married, too! We didn't even _date,_ for crying out loud! Why would I still be hung over you?!"

Katniss stared at him. "Because I'm fabulous," she said as if it should be obvious.

They stared at her. She stared back.

The staring contest was broken only when Delly hit Katniss on the head with a rock and she slumped to the ground.

-:-

Katniss dreamt she was frolicking through a lovely meadow covered in soft green grass—er, I mean, she didn't have any dreams . . . (She has to keep up appearances, after all.)

But alas, she was pulled out of her _dreamless _slumber when she noticed voices talking in concerned tones. She wanted to go back to sleep, so naturally she had to get up fully to yell at them to keep it down. But as soon as she opened her eyes, the owners of the voices crowded into her field of vision and she immediately held back her outburst when she saw the worried expressions on their faces.

"What's wrong?" she asked, looking back and forth between Peeta, Delly, and . . . Gale? What was he doing here? As weird as it was, Katniss put that thought on hold as the three exchanged glances. Delly was the first to speak.

"Do you . . . remember what happened?"

Katniss frowned at that. She did seem to not remember what had happened after she left to gather some plants . . . she had no idea how she ended up lying on the ground in the forest. But what had happened that would make them so hesitant to ask? As Katniss answered Delly's question in the negative and inquired about exactly _what _it was she was supposed to remember, the others again exchanged looks between themselves, looking as if they were wondering what to tell her.

"Well . . . Let's just say you suffered from OOCD," Peeta said somberly. At Katniss's blank look, he elaborated, "It stands for 'out of character disorder.' It's caused by too many fangirls thinking they can make a character do whatever they want, even if it's completely random and inconsistent with their personality and the only thing that can cure it is, um, a hit to the head." Delly tried to look innocent—unsuccessfully—as Peeta finished.

Katniss grimaced. "_Oh. _Was it bad?"

They seemed to have gotten over their anxiousness, barely containing their laughter. "That's one way of saying it," Gale said as he shuddered. Katniss gave him a weird look, then shrugged, obviously think, _I don't want to know._

Once Peeta, Delly, and Gale calmed down, they all realized they were still sitting in the middle of the forest. As they stood up and started walking back to District 12, Gale broke the silence by saying, "So, anyone up for some soup?"


End file.
